Marriage is one of the most beautiful things in life but if you dive into it headfirst without being truly prepared for it, it can also be the most disastrous and painful thing you will ever go through. Before you walk down that aisle and say your vows, you need to take some time to look inside and ask yourself some of the tough questions most people fail to neglect.
10 Things You Should Ask Yourself First Before Taking that Walk down the Aisle
1. Are you attracted physically and emotionally to your partner?
Let’s be real. In most cases, people get together because they are attracted to each other. However, as much as physical attraction helps bring two people together, it is an emotional attraction that will help them stay together. Make sure you and your partner should connect on an emotional level, not just physical.
2. Are you prepared for a lifetime commitment to your partner?
One of the biggest decisions you will ever make in life is making the decision to fully commit yourself to spend a lifetime with a person. Marriage is not something that you buy from a store and get rid of once you grow tired of it. This is why wedding vows are made with forever in mind, or at least ‘til death do you part.
3. What happens when you and your partner disagree and argue?
Do both of you know how to compromise? To agree to disagree? Or is it a “my way or the highway” sort of relationship? Inevitably, disagreements and arguments are part of a marriage. You will argue about a lot of things — managing finances, where to send the kids to school, waterproof decking options, things to do on family vacations, and a lot more. How you and your partner handle things will either make or break your union.
4. Can you remain trustworthy and faithful?
Reality check: a lot of marriages end up in divorce because of unfaithfulness and infidelity. Surprisingly, there is a growing number of women who cheat now compared to the stats a decade or two before. It is no longer a male-issue. How loyal are you to your partner? Can you remain faithful to them even if they are no longer as attractive?
5. Do both of you share the same values and beliefs?
Religious beliefs, convictions, and values are some of the things that a lot of people passionately argue about. Having the same belief and value system will make marriage and raising a family easier for you. You are likely to have lesser conflicts about spiritual and moral matters at home, both of which are integral aspects of a family.
6. Do both of you share the same goals in life?
Imagine yourself living the rest of your life with someone who has entirely different goals and ambitions in life. That would be just cohabitating under one roof but living entirely separate lives. Unless you both share the same goals (maybe not down to the very last detail but at least similar), it will be difficult to build together.
7. Can you stick it out with your partner even if he/she becomes incapacitated?
For better or worse. In sickness and in health. These are the conditions couples agree to when they get married. It’s easy to enjoy a marriage filled with good times but what about the struggles? In this case, what about the daily struggles of living with someone who’s physically limited? Do you see yourself serving your partner selflessly for your whole life?
8. Are you willing to set aside your own needs for your partner’s needs?
One of the beautiful things about marriage is its ability to bring out the best in a person. It will give you plenty of opportunities to serve each other and look after one another, even to the point of putting your partner’s needs above your wants. This doesn’t mean that you need to be a martyr of some sort. Marriage is about maintaining a healthy give-and-take relationship.
9. What do both of you think about raising a family?
Most people get married with raising a family in mind. Others, however, are happy and content with just their spouse. You and your partner will need to talk about what your plans and intentions are when it comes to raising a family. If one of you wants to have children in the future while the other one doesn’t, you need to discuss whether marriage is a good move for you or not.
10. Are you ready to marry their family?
Marrying a person means marrying that person’s family as well. It’s part of the package. You don’t just enter a marriage without considering the other’s family. Can you live with them or get along with them? Do you value their inputs and opinions? Are you willing to support them when the time comes?
Being married is a great thing. It takes a lot of hard work and selflessness to make it successful. These questions can help you make better decisions so you don’t make the mistakes other unsuccessful couples did. And as you answer the questions as honestly as you can then get married, you still need to put in the work to make it last.